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  • There's no I in team, but there are two in Schizophrenia. 5 h
  • My kids just countered my dinner demands with "Even Popeye didn't eat his spinach until he absolutely had to!" 14 h
  • Pain is nature's way of saying, "Don't do that." Painkillers are mankind's way of saying, "Just watch me." 17 h
  • Despite the old saying, "Don't take your troubles to bed", many women still sleep with their husbands. 20 h
  • When hearing something from any politician, ever believe anything until it's been officially denied. 23 h